Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Why Can't I Just Be Happy?

Don't get me wrong. I am happy. I am RIDICULOUSLY happy. I am so happy I cannot even put the sentiment into words! For the first time in over three years of trying, I AM PREGNANT!

But I'm terrified too. The odds of miscarriage for the average woman once they manage to get pregnant are actually pretty low. But with PCOS, the odds of losing a pregnancy are quite a bit higher than the average woman. I just want to be able to be happy that Stick exists at all, to be like any other normal pregnant woman and assume that I'm going to give birth to a healthy, happy baby in nine months. But I'm terrified . . . because there's a chance that I won't and it's taken us so very long to get here at all. As much as I try to focus on the positive, to celebrate, I've broken down in tears more times than I care to relay because I am just so scared that this isn't meant to be.

Just stick Stick, please stick.

1 comment:

  1. I'm praying for you and your little family! Thank you for sharing this experience with us, and I'm hoping for the best!